


Hold My Hand

by Nefertiti1052 (Succubusphan)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Feelings, M/M, Self-Reflection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:09:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26943448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Succubusphan/pseuds/Nefertiti1052
Summary: Dan starts running and working in bettering himself. This is his journey.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 5
Kudos: 25
Collections: Im-PROMPT-u Phandom Creator Challenge 2020





	Hold My Hand

Dan woke up at the crack of dawn without any alarms as he had expected. He felt tired of so many restrictions and responsibilities clouding his mind, so he took some time off to work on himself. Meditations every night right before bed helped him relax and consequently rest better. It took him a few extra days to manage a good schedule without an alarm, but he had been able to tackle that in a week and now he was ready for his morning run around 7 am. 

If someone would have told him months ago that he would be willingly committing to such a strict exercise regime, he would have laughed. But that was before, before he finally set himself some goals. He wanted to film his coming out video, which needed a lot of soul-searching, and that led to some nasty mind paths sometimes. So he started exercising, and to really get himself into the right mindset, he decided to sign up for the London Marathon. 

Was it crazy for someone so unfit like him? Probably, but he did it anyway because he needed to stay focused. He had received so much support from his family and friends… it had actually shocked him. He’d thought they would’ve tried to talk him out of it but they didn’t.

Phil loved him, he really did, but this wasn’t his battle to fight, all he could do was hold Dan’s hand through it. 

So Dan ran. He ran and thought about his life, about his childhood trauma, about his identity and his self-hatred. He was ready to work on all of it, to finally stop avoiding thinking about it and learn from it. To be able to analyze it and hopefully let it go - not to forget, but to try and keep it from affecting his present-day life. 

Dan ran and ran. He filmed the video and it nearly left him hollow, like a husk. He really did pour all of himself into it to the point where there wasn’t much else to give; at least not for now. 

Dan ran but when the Marathon came closer and closer, he started to lose himself, his motivation, his thought process when he decided to sign up for it, what he’d wanted to achieve. So he panicked and quit. 

Classic Dan. He was disappointed in himself, but he was more disappointed in the fact that nobody was surprised that he’d failed. That hurt. Phil held him tightly and told him there was always another opportunity if he really wanted to do it, that he was  _ so  _ proud of him for trying and coming so far, even though he didn’t make it to the finish line. 

It was true. There would always be another chance to run. So he took a little time off, he focused in new projects, he continued soul searching. Sometimes thinking of the stuff he’d had to go through as a child angered him and he needed to step back, but that was ok. He deserved as much.

The following year, he signed up for the Marathon again. He was ready, Physically and mentally. But the world was taken by storm by something way out of his control. Another missed chance. Maybe it wasn’t in the cards for him. He said as much to Phil. Obviously, Phil always knew what to say. He reminded Dan of everything he had achieved since he set the goal to run the Marathon, how the exercise and the discipline had helped him physically and mentally in his journey, how it was still helping him… and how pretty he looked. 

Dan smiled. There was only one opinion that he would always take into account, and that was Phil’s, his best friend, his arch-enemy, his husband, his business partner, partner in crime, soulmate and purely mate. As long as he had Phil there with him, he would keep trying, he would keep running; not running from his past, but running towards his future, with his future by his side.

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for the Im-PROMPT-u phandom creator challenge hosted by the @phandomreversebang. Day 10: Run.
> 
> Follow me on Tumblr: [Succubusphan](http://Succubusphan.tumblr.com/)
> 
> In case you wish to reblog the fic: [Tumblr Link](https://succubusphan.tumblr.com/post/631649374686035968/hold-my-hand)
> 
> Comments and Kudos are appreciated!!!!


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